The 1970s were a time of musical evolution. We were introduced to glam rock, punk rock, and a glittery craze called disco.
Great bands like The Eagles, Pink Floyd, and Led Zeppelin were at the top of the charts … but this post isn’t about great bands and cool tunes. Where’s the fun in that?
No, it’s much more entertaining to take a look at some of the decade’s most awful clips.
I Wanna Love You Tender by Armi and Danny
If ever a video embodied all that was wrong with disco it’s I Wanna Love You Tender by Armi and Danny. The Finnish duo released this little gem in 1978, but they weren’t the stars of this clip.
No, that honor goes to the sweater-clad dancers with their cheesy choreography. I’m not really sure what the fake space backdrop is for either.
Apache by Tommy Seebach
This seems to be some strange cross between historical reenactment and adult movie. Is it that fetching moustache or his fringed get-up that make the lead singer so attractive? After all, not one, but three “Indian” beauties can’t resist him!
Perhaps you just need to be a hippie to appreciate Tommy Seebach’s charms.
She’s Gone by Hall and Oates
Unlike other clips I’ve included, I actually love this song. I’m horrified at how terrible this film clip actually is! John Oates sits there looking like the long lost member of the Chippendales, and Darryl Hall isn’t much better in his Hugh Heffner-esque robe and killer mullet.
I’m not sure why the devil is following the pretty girl, or why he’s wearing such a sparkly outfit. Given the lyrics, I suppose I can’t question why Hall and Oates are listlessly throwing money at him. But I can ask why they ruined this song with such an abysmal film clip!
Big Six by Judge Dread
This doesn’t feel like a professional music video. It feels like someone’s drunk, pervy uncle grabbed the microphone at karaoke night.
Funnily enough though, Welsh singer Judge Dread had big hits all over the world. He also had more banned songs than anyone else, a somewhat dubious honor.
Here he ruins my every childhood memory by sexing up some nursery rhymes, with the help of some topless backup dancers.
NMKY by Gregorius (YMCA cover)
We started with a Finnish classic, so I couldn’t resist ending on one. It’s hard to out-gay the Village People, but Gregorius manage it with their cover of YMCA. The band are fairly boring, but the lead singer more than makes up for their lack of enthusiasm.
I can’t understand a word he’s saying, but that kind of passion transcends the language barrier. His equally buoyant back-up dancing troupe deserves an honorable mention.