This is a pitch-perfect video released the day after Apple unveiled its new iPhone 5 to widespread disappointment. It details Apple’s latest product strategy.

Apple is going to do nothing from now on. It’ll be coasting along, not releasing new iPhones or iPads, not innovating or working hard.

Instead, the workforce will be sleeping, spending time with their families, and playing golf. Represented on stage as apps, you know, those things Apple claims to have invented before it got lazy.

The new Apple Nothing… because they earned it. And on that bombshell the stock price went through the roof, and the fanboys journalists present gave a standing ovation.