There are a few reasons I have never been to a baseball game. 1. I have never been to the U.S. or Japan. 2. Baseball is dull. 3. I don’t particularly want to have a baseball hit me in the head. Either head.

Yes, I made a dick joke. But come on, if I was ever going to make a dick joke this video was going to prompt it. The guy gets hit on the end of his dick, and literally bats it into his wife or girlfriend’s head.

You couldn’t make this up, and I bet if you actually tried to do this on purpose you’d fail spectacularly.

The video has some great comments attached to it on YouTube: “Double Headshot!,” “That day she got 3 balls to the face..,” and “Safe to say he’s not getting any tonight.”