Heidi Montag makes her debut performance in the Bahamas at the Miss Universe Pageant 2009.

For a debut performance, Heidi spent a suspiciously long amount of time off camera as the show paraded images of the Miss Universe contestants for the viewers at home.

‘Unimpressed’ seems to be the word most people are using nicely to describe her performance, while ‘not that bad’ is the choice for the largely uncaring rest of the crowd.

To drop down to a completely shallow level, I think the first mistake she made was going out on stage in an outfit that may have looked nice closeup but just appeared skin-coloured from any distance away.