“Of course, there is really only one reason to see Cocaine Bear, and that is because you would like to see what happens when a bear does cocaine.
“And in a nation populated by hucksters and con artists, it is refreshing to have someone sell you exactly what you were promised.
“The plot of the film, which is based rather loosely on a true story, is straightforward. Drug smugglers drop cocaine out of a plane. A bear finds said cocaine.
“The bear turns the mountain red in pursuit of more cocaine.
“There are some other minor plot threads along the way, mostly revolving around a pair of kids who eat spoonfuls of cocaine and get lost, as well as a nice-guy drug trafficker mourning his dead wife (cancer dead, not bear dead), but that’s basically the gist.”
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