“Gentle reader: Cast your mind back, if you will, to a November not all that long ago, when America was rocked by the unexpected ascension of an interloper to one of the highest offices in the land.

“It was a time of national panic and outrage, as a man that many believed to be blatantly unqualified, a man with a disquieting history of bigotry, took on a position of enormous prestige and responsibility.

“I am speaking, of course, of November 2017, when Blake Shelton was named People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive.

“I mean. Blake Shelton.

“But this year, there has been a reckoning. This year, the people have spoken. This year, Shelton has been voted out of office, replaced by an infinitely better-qualified candidate. This year, in a resounding victory for democracy, the Sexiest Man Alive is Idris Elba.”

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