British comedian Dan Clark isn’t just a funny man, he’s a dating doctor too. In his own unique way, that is.

Here’s a clip with 10 phrases guaranteed to piss off your partner after having sex with them.

The girl in this video has to be Dan’s girlfriend. I just can’t think of a logical explanation for why any other sane girl would put up with these comments. They just keep getting colder and colder. I’m surprised a slap wasn’t caught on camera.

The List

For those of you who can’t pick up British accents (no need to feel embarrassed), here’s the complete list in order:

• 1. That was the 3rd best I had this week.
• 2. Can I go now?
• 3. You know what, half way through you looked like my brother for a bit.
• 4. That was your first time, right?
• 5. What time did I do?
• 6. I wonder if John Loakes is still alive (?)
• 7. Never done that with a female before.
• 8. Got some notes. Do you want them now?
• 9. Congratulations, you were my 100th.
• 10. There you go sweetheart, something to remember me by.